EMOTIONS are running HIGH

This week has been interesting... Korrie's dad filed an "Order" in the court system to obtain placement.  I don't understand what he is thinking... it has been 23 weeks with no contact unless initiated by us... so why go through all this hassle. AND... why is it fair that he even gets to do this... it was DENIED by the courts, but still................. it is really hard trying to stay sane. 

 On a happier note, homestudy will be completed this week so we can file adoption paperwork. 

Im sitting on the couch looking at my hubby and baby Korrie sleeping in the recliner... praying and appreciating another day with her.  I knew what true love was when I had Kennedy, but this is a whole different kind of love from deeper within... she is beautiful inside and out...and she is just a babe.  More to come soon.

Kody Brown...a man after my heart...and the hearts of millions nationwide

Let me just say, if swearing offends, this is not the blog for you.   Leave now.

Still around? Ok then

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??????

Who, I mean WHO thinks that it is "normal" to have and want 4 wives and 13+ kids?  The kid thing is up there with Jim Bob Duggar... but 4 wives ...that is NOT normal. Look at these women... they are FINE with their situation????   

Questions I want answers to:

• Who has the stamina to keep 4 women happy?
• Who has the finances to support basically 4 families, and 2 houses?
• Who, with this many kids, can afford a Luxury Sport Car?
• What the hell?

I am at a loss... I can not even begin to express my sheer shock after watching this show for the first time.  I saw the episode where it was Meri and Kody's Anniversary.... they then go to Mexico for vacation to celebrate it... THEN he offers up In-Vitro to get her pregnant (all while #3 wife is banging on Labor and delivery's door to have #14).... pure insanity!!!! 

  For now, I guess I am done ranting ...but .... Kody Brown... what the fuck?

SICKNESS is in the air

It is oficially fall in Wisconsin. 

 My favorite time of year.

I get restless in the fall- want to shop, be outside, plant mums, nature hikes, family pictures at Carver's Rock Park, love the colors,apple orchards, pumpkin patches, hayrides, and the smell of fire in the air.  

With the welcoming of this fall, comes allergies for Kennedy and now, a cold for baby Korrie.  Up all night with her restless in the chair.  Poor little peanut.  Momma can't rest when we are up all hours of the night trying to relax in a recliner,  I am not sure how people pull off sleeping in them all night. 

I hope that the colds and allergies subside, so we can get out in our stroller and see how the leaves change daily and enjoy the beauty of the days. 

I am a new believer in the statement, "Everyday is a gift." 

Truly, it is... I know that now.Wish it did not take me 37 years to figure that out. 

Values.com | Your Billboard You can do anything you put your mind to

Values.com Your Billboard You can do anything you put your mind to (CLICK ON TITLE TO VIEW PICTURE)

This is "Sissy" or as we call her now with a new baby in the house, "Big Sis". We went to Gatorland in 2007, she loved it and can't wait to go back. While there she had the opportunity to sit on a real live gator. That day she was my hero, so determined and brave.

She is still like that...determined and brave. She doesnt get her bravery from her mother, I am a big "P" word. I made this Billboard in honor of Big Sis. I don't think I can love her more.

MIA (Missing in Action)

Holy cow... it has been a long time since I posted on my blog. I can hardly keep my life straight when I am on Facebook and email. I had to quit Twitter- I just don't get that. Anyway... alot has happened in the past 4 months... I am going to start blogging about it...eveyone has a blog...why the hell not me? Stay tuned.... good things come to those who wait!

The Auction

Written 2009- Posted 2010 a year later,heart is still raw

There is no feeling like the excitement of an auction. When I get there I look around and think, this is someones life. Your whole life put out on tables, wagons, or just thrown in the yard- for people to paw thru and buy cheap. It is sad, ....BUT...... then, as soon as sadness sweeps over me, excitement floods me... there is the thrill of the hunt, finding that one odd item for a good price and tryjng to figure out what to do with it.

This summer I went to an auction that was near and dear to my heart. It was great Auntie Lil and Uncle Oscar's. I always loved going to their house... it was set down a long, steep lane- a treasure tucked into the woods. We always went in the house from the garage, and just walking in the house there was a smell- a mix of baking, kitty's, farming, and woodstove. It was bliss... no one was kinder than these two. The day of the auction was hot and muggy. This time pulling into the lane was different, it was sad. It felt like a piece of my childhood was being stripped from me.

I was sad, really sad. Heart ache sad... my dad was too, he could feel it radiating out of me.

We started walking around the yard and wagons. I spotted a few things that I had to get my hands on. There were 3 things I had to have- like I was prepared to kick some major ass if I did not get them.

They were :

* Aprons

* School Bag

* Cookbooks

Two of the 3 things were the last 2 to go. I waited all day in the heat to get my hands on the aprons and cookbooks, to which thanks to my mom and grandma, have an impressive collection of each. The bidding was down right dragging, then closer, closer, closer my items came up.

Aprons First... there was not a lot of people interested in the aprons, but enough. I did not care the price, I wanted them all... every last one. I am sure when you were a housewife you did not care what apron you wore- you just grabbed one to wear it. I can only imagine where they went- the barn, garden, making lunch.... They are hand made, and wearing one, makes me feel like I was transported back in time. I won the bidding $11.00 a "lot" aka basket... and could choose how ever many I wanted. I took all 4 baskets... and I even shared a few with other relatives that were there and their kids. It was heaven, all the way home I held my aprons and looked thru them, smiling- knowing that they were not just from my auntie, but generations before. Gingham, ric rac, flowers... pure bliss I am PROUD- very proud that I am the recipient of this piece of the past, a piece of my past.

Cookbooks, I thought my dad was gonna get in a fist fight over these... they were arranged in stacks.... some of the old biddies at the auction came just for the old cookbooks. This equaled- being mean and deviant. Some women were "hiding" the old cookbooks then not letting you look at the stacks they were hidden in. My dad is easy going but when I told him what was happening he had to say something. The bidding finally started, I got enough of the cookbooks, I wanted her Betty Crocker that was literally in shreds, and a few others. I said to one woman that was getting pushy and nasty... "You know, it is a BOOK, not a bar of gold.... a BOOK- and I am a relative!" She backed off, but not really. I got what I wanted, I was happy with the cook books, and again, on the way home I kept holding them and smiling.

Lastly, the School Bag... this is the first item that made me get teary, really teary and sad... it was Aunties School bag, beaten, leather, broken zipper.... BUT... it had her name embossed on it... her maiden name- LILLIAN KRUPKE. I imagined her getting this as a graduation gift from college- to start her first teaching job. I was proud. I knew what I was going to do with it too... hang it on my wall with flowers in it. I love it.

I am so glad I have these pieces of her... but it still makes me sad, I think of her often and wish I would have spent a few more minutes with her, learning from her, learning about her... a few more sunny days... sledding on the hills... gardening.... baking... or just being together.

No regrets, just wishes I used my time with her better. I could not wait to go home and show my mom everything I got... for me it was like re-living her childhood memories too... there was no one like Auntie... no one.

Vintage Cupboard with cookbooks and aprons.

Krupke Milk Can

(This was not from the auction, I actually got this from my mom-

it was my grandmas and it sat in her entryway...

it has a proud spot in my home too)

The briefcase! Lillian Krupke



Lillian Krupke up close


Aprons, aprons, and more aprons

I look at these aprons and feel like I am back on a farm...gathering eggs- walking to the stream, or baking the biggest, fluffiest, round cake with white frosting imagineable.

Dammit Patrick, Why?

Good Lord, one more celebrity death is going to send me over the fucking edge. First Farrah, then MJ, Uncle Teddy, now Patrick... another piece of my childhood ripped from me. What the hell is happening in the world today? Im at a total loss here... thank God my mom still has her Swayze Dirty Dancing poster hanging on her bedroom door- she gets a gentle reminder of him everyday. I wish I had mine, but it was quickly replaced when I fell madly in love with Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Finally, your pain is gone... you inspired me to be a braver person when faced with illness, and I will pass along your legacy of dancing to eveyone that knows me.... RIP Patrick